Heather Gray

Flawed...but loved anyway.

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Blog posts : "Grief"

Another Birthday

Dear Sweet Child,

You would be starting your freshman year in high school if you were still with us. I didn’t realize that until just the other day.

I choose to be happy for you. I choose to celebrate the life you lived here on earth and the life you now have in heaven with our Savior. But …

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Happy, Happy Birthday

Happy, Happy Birthday Sweet Girl.

I’ve finally come to the conclusion that birthdays aren’t celebrated in heaven. One, I just don’t see it in the Bible. And two, it would get awfully tedious after ten thousand years or so. When …

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Why I Make Tamales for Thanksgiving

Shout with joy to the Lord, all the earth!

Psalm 100:1 (NLT)


Thanksgiving is just a few days away.  It's a time of family, fun, friendship, fellowship, and some other things that don't begin with the letter f, but since they don't fit my alliteration, I'm forced to forego them in my list.

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A Happy Birthday Wish

September 3, 2015

Dear Sweet Ladybug,

Happy Birthday.

I can't believe you're celebrating another one. I'm sure I'd be saying the same thing if you were here with us instead of there with Jesus.

I've wondered recently whether or not there are birthday parties in heaven. I know, it's …

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An Open Letter to Grieving Parents


In October 2014, I was allowed the privilege of speaking at the Day of Remembrance for a local hospital – the hospital at which my daughter spent so many months.  The Day of Remembrance is a time to remember those children who we've lost, to celebrate their lives to the best of our abilit…

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Happy Birthday Sunshine

Happy Birthday Sunshine.

I always mark the day with a post, but I almost let it pass this year.  I've been running on empty lately, and there's a part of me that figures people must be tired of listening to me talk about what an amazing daughter you were and how deeply wounded I am by losing you.

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Remembering, Part Three

Wise Words


We all know that staring directly into the sun is both painful and harmful.

There were a lot of good speakers at the remembrance ceremony.  The older brother of a young boy that had died.  The sister of another.  The father of a young girl gone too soon.  And a doctor.  There…

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Remembering, Part Two

Last week's ceremony at the hospital got me to thinking.  (About what?)  I'm so glad you asked! 

Moving On v. Moving Forward


Sometimes I think about things differently than other people.  I'm used to it.  This is one of those times.

A friend asked me one day how I was doing with movi…

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Remembering, Part One

Remembering, Part One

This past weekend was the annual Day of Remembering at the children's hospital.  It's one day set aside each year to commemorate the lives of children cared for at that facility who lost their particular battle.  This was our second year there.  Last year the loss was sti…

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Shattered Life

Shattered Life
When life shatters into a thousand pieces, you have three choices.
One, you can crawl into a hole and sleep away and days and nights (literally or figuratively).  Be a shell of who you once were.  Find no joy, no love, no light, and no laughter.  Be among the walking dead.  (A…

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Be Content

Be Content


We've all heard that before, right?

Have you ever asked yourself, "How could that possibly apply to the situation I'm in right now?"

I suppose there's some confusion about what it means to be content.  Does content mean happy?  No.  So what, then, does it mean?Cornucopia

A lot of dicti…

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Happy Birthday


September 3, 2013

Dear Baby Girl,

Happy Birthday.

I miss you.

I miss your hugs, your smiles, and the way your eyes sparkled.  And so much more.

Time is supposed to make it easier, and I suppose in a lot of ways it does, but I don't think I'll ever quite get over wishing I could wrap my arm…

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Things To Say

Things to Say


Someday I might get around to making a list of all the things not to say to a grieving parent, but for today I am focusing on the positives.  It's a good place to be.  J  J

People often say nothing when they want to say something because they are afraid that in their attem…

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Screaming Inside My Head

In October 2011 we took our daughter to the emergency room for what we thought was a concussion.  The doctor ordered a CT scan.

"It's probably nothing."

"It's just a precaution."

It turned out not to be nothing.  There was a mass in my daughter's brain.  A large one.

Surgery went well. 

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I'm Human

     I'm human.  There’s no way around it.  Believe it or not, you're human too.  I’m pretty sure you can’t get around it either.

     You may wonder why this is important.  It’s simple.  In principal, anyway.  Maybe not so much in practice.  Let me explain.

     My nine-yea…

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A Study in Opposites

op·po·site  [op-uh-zit, -sit]  adjective

contrary or radically different in some respect common to both, as in nature, qualities, direction, result, or significance; opposed: opposite sides in a controversy; opposite directions.

Do you ever think much about opposites?  When you are in a da…

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Magical Socks and Life Out Loud

I came so they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of.

(Jesus speaking, John 10:10, MSG)

I have magical socks.  Every morning when I put them on, they remind me that life real life is meant to be lived in color.  Bold, bright, vibrant color.  Not …

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Announcing Death

How do you announce to the world that a child has died? 

Is there an easy way?  A way that comforts as it gives the painful news?  A way to tell people while softening the blow?


There is no easy way.

Shortly after the beginning of the bowling season last fall, we were at the bowling alley…

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Taking the Long Way Home

Taking the Long Way Home


I heard a song.  Well, sort of.  I heard part of a song.  I didn't hear enough to be able to tell you the name of the song.  I have no idea who was singing it.  I can't even swear that what I took from the song is the intended message.  I caught a snippet of a verse, an…

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Preparing A Place

Preparing a Place

*As a note, this was originally drafted last year.  I mention that because there's a reference to how many months since my daughter's death.

Jesus said, “Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust in me. There are many rooms in my Father’s house; I would not te…

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